Dating, Personal Reflection

Two Weeks on Bumble

The Bumble app is a waste of time for me. I’m not angry; I’m just realistically looking at my results the last two and a half weeks. Now, as the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day. I didn’t go into this expecting to meet my ideal woman on day one. I did expect something to happen, and it did, I started swiping. A little at first, then becoming more drawn in by the 24 hr window to connect with matches. Well, how long does that take? About a week for me. My screen time app let me know my 6 hours of swiping resulted in connecting with a girl that I’d only selected because, hey, what’s about one to the right? I’m rounding the bases after my second consecutive week not feeling this process and time commitment. I know exactly how much I can get done focusing on doing things that bring a sense of satisfaction and well-being. Six hours sitting still, committed to swiping a week has a cost. When I say yes to something I don’t want, I’m saying no to something I do. And lately, it’s looking more like swiping on pictures of singles in the area.

I’m not a numbers person by any extreme and value the time I have. The prospect of spending 24 hours a month, looking at over 1,100 pictures, to maybe meet 3.36 people is ridiculous. Ok, maybe my numbers do have an extreme. And the last two weeks were it. I don’t fault the app for this because I was the user, just like my friend who’d met a woman he wants to marry from it. I don’t value the time spent updating pictures and About Me’s because I got crickets chirping in my head. I’ve been walking my dog very regularly here and have spoken to many more people in less time than, “hey hey,” and swiping. Being awkwardly crept on in the park months ago was a better conversation. I give credit where it’s due. Starting a conversation with a stranger can be difficult for some to do. That’s not me. I’m the one who moves across the country a couple of times to shake up my comfort zone. Is this is what I’m going to make a priority? I’m not even writing with as much consistency in those two weeks.

Speaking with someone in person creates a different vibe than online I feel. If I’m out doing me and living well, the conversation will flow and end if it has to. When I’m on dating sites, it’s all projection of images that only capture a fraction of who I’m looking at as a potential. How can I reveal who I am in 6 pictures? All the years of my life, down to 6 moments that will determine if someone wants to talk to me or not. My qualities in predetermined boxes to check with not enough room to capture the energy felt in the moment, jumping from an airplane. Or if something is way off.

I don’t want to leave my future to a chance of someone else taking action. If I’m meeting you, it’s because I did something to be there, and so did the other. Living by taking action is the life I’m designing and sitting in a chair swiping isn’t the first glance I want.

So, after two weeks, I’ve deleted the app completely. I want to satisfy my curiosity about who I become by doing different activities alone and with my dog in this new area. If my .3% success rate of swiping can improve by going outside, I’ll see you downtown!

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